Sometimes I feel that something is broken inside me, corrupted and I want to throw this out... make myself clean. But this is impossible because every emotion is mine, every thought, every second of me life standing on my past. If we were able to make this happend, we can change our whole life without knowledge about all consequences that can happend even after small change. So... the only I can do is go forward, cerfully waching myself and try to avoid mistakes... . This was very good that I hear yesterday: its important to see the differences between emotion that come to us from our past and emotions that come to us from actual moment. Here is now. Present time, and sometimes in this present time happen something that wakeup old feelings. Feelings that don't have any conection with present time. They are like ghosts from past. Scary and ugly. It's good to know that ghost is only an image. He can't hurt, he can't speak, he can't do anything.