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turnip

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#1 53/365
3 streak
#1
1
Day 1
Acquisition
Today, I bought a turnip. I had intended to buy it from Waitrose, but they had closed early due to a herring infestation. I went to Morris...
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#2
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Day 2
Disappointment
What I really wanted to buy yesterday was a baboon. My plan was to teach it to guard the shed from bad people. But then I thought a tur...
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#3
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Day 3
Research 1
I decided to research the turnip by reading 'Tarzan, Lord of the Jumble' (title is misleading, it's set in a forest). On p113, Tarzan fight...
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#4
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Day 4
Destination: Turnip
Because I've been thinking all day about the turnip, I got confused when I was entering my journey into the satnav. The satnav sug...
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#5
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Day 5
For sale
I am selling the turnip. I have placed an ad on the popular selling site, 'Gumtree'. My asking price is £478. The description reads: "This tu...
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#6
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Day 6
Not very efficient
The response to yesterday's advert has been poor. In the meantime, I put the turnip to good use, stripping off old wallpaper in a h...
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#7
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Day 7
Turniptubbie
I thought that I might relate to the turnip more if it had a face and a leg. The face I have chosen is that of Tinky-Winky, a character f...
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#8
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Day 8
Hand of the King
The hand in the picture belongs to my boss. He has long fingers because he is the King of Denmark, Hraflag XIV. That hand could comma...
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#9
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Day 9
Research 2
Now that the turnip has a face, I wondered if a brain could be added. According to Wikipedia, this is possible. It would be nice if the tur...
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#10
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Day 10
Cry for help
I need help finding a suitable brain for the turnip, so I have put a notice in the window of my car. I think that using the King of Denma...
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#11
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Day 11
Xmas lunch
An Xmas lunch that's rather late Does turnip fear he's on the plate? My photo-friends, the answer's plain He has no thoughts of future pain...
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#12
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Day 12
Brain surgery
Following my appeal for help (January 17th), Chichester District Council received over 250 calls offering advice, many from qualified ne...
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#13
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Day 13
Awakening?
The surgery seemed to go well and I left the turnip recovering overnight. This morning, the lid had been removed from a container of soup (...
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#14
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Day 14
Existential
The turnip is conscious. The first thing he said to me was, "Why are we born, if only to suffer?" Well, I wasn't having any of that nonsen...
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#15
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Day 15
This can't go on
I could forgive him stealing my soup and asking existential questions, but today the turnip ate one of my fajitas. He has gained anot...
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#16
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Day 16
Psychoanalysis
Professor Freud asked if he could psychoanalyse the turnip to try to understand some of his behavioural problems. I agreed. They spent...
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#17
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Day 17
Education through film 1
Freud tells me that the turnip's problems stem from an underdeveloped superego. He suggested I try to broaden the turnip's ho...
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#18
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Day 18
Thank you, Oliver
The turnip asked if we could thank Oliver Stone for writing and directing 'Platoon'. I thought a good way of thanking him would be t...
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#19
2
Day 19
Education through film 2
The turnip's education continues. Today we watched Kielowski's classic, "Three Colours Blue". I asked him to imagine he was J...
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#20
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Day 20
Thank you, Krzysztof
The turnip said we should thank Krzysztof for "Three Colours Blue", but sadly he died in 1996. So instead, we are expressing our...
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#21
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Day 21
Education through film 3
I've decided to show the turnip just a few more films to complete his education. Today, we watched 'The Usual Suspects'. He s...
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#22
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Day 22
Heartbreak
The turnip wanted to know what heartbreak was. For a quick example, I took him into the garden, to the place where my three cats are buried...
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#23
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Day 23
Salad dilemma
I prepared a nice salad for me and the turnip: chicken, apple, walnuts, beetroot, apple, celery and various baby leaves. It was deliciou...
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#24
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Day 24
Thank you, Bryan Singer
The turnip reminded me that we hadn't given thanks for Bryan Singer's film, 'The Usual Turnips', which we watched a few days a...
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