Thank you

Mum, you would love what people said about you yesterday. You would be shocked how many people were crying. And you would love the preaching. I was crying during the whole speech. Our priest said how amazing you were. How many good things you did. At the end, he said that you had this beautiful light. And it didn't go. It sayed in us. Your children and your grand-children. We will keep it. Take care about it. And never forget about you. You know, I couldn't cry. At the cemetery. I was thinking about you all the time. About our past. Time we spent together. And I wasn't crying because I wasn't saying goodbye to you. I said it million times back then, when you were in the hospital. When you weren't conscious and I didn't know whether we had another day.
During the whole ceremony I was also thinking about every person in my life. I don't have any grief for anyone. I'm so full of gratitude. For everyone. For every good word, for support, for every talk, for everything. It's not about the funeral. It's about the whole time Mum was sick. I wouldn't make it without my friends. Without family. I also would like to thank You. For the same thing.
You are amazing.

I don't have much time now, because I have to rebuild my whole world. My home-life, change my work, organise everything. I know I'm absent here, but I don't want to end this project. But I promise one thing - I'll be fully here when I'm sure my future is safe.

#october #afternoon #tuesday