An open letter

To whom this may concern,

I would like to begin by saying ‘I’m sorry for all you’ve suffered and gone through’.

I would like to empathies with you for the fact that you were always picked last to play games in school, that your parent never bought you that pogo stick, and all the hardships that you endure on a daily basis.

I would like to encourage you by saying you are loved, that you valued, that you are a wonderful person.

I would like to be able to say all that… but I can’t. I won’t.

You, whomever you are, are an Asshole.

Read that previous sentence again and take note of the capital “A” on Asshole.

You. Are. An. Asshole.

Everyone is familiar with assholes (again, noted the lack of a capital). They don’t return their carts at the grocery store. They drive ten under the speed limit only to speed up when a passing lane is available. They are the smug dinner at a restaurant who belittles the wait staff.

You are not an asshole. You are an Asshole.

What’s the difference? While assholes are rude, inconsiderate, and generally unpleasant excuse for a Human Being.

You are an Asshole.

An asshole would have simply dumped their used disposable face mask on the ground. You, on the other hand, went to a whole new level; the Asshole Level.

No, you chose to put in effort into your entitled Assholeness. You take the time and energy to demonstrate just what a plague ridden louse you truly are. You not only chose to carelessly discard your face mask, but you took the effort to hang up on a tree, a quarter kilometer back in woods.

Instead of putting in your pocket and disposing of it at home you chose the path of an entitled, Grade-A Asshole.

But don’t worry, as I’m certain is a common theme throughout your Asshole Life, someone else as taken responsibility for your short comings.

I would try to appeal to a sense of community or respect, but it would be a wasted effort. Your are, after all, nothing more than a sorry Asshole.

Most sincerely,

Me.