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#turnip

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turnip
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Day 53
The road is covered in cake icing
The turnip asked me why the road was covered in cake icing. I laughed and said, "Why, that's not cake icing, you sil...
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turnip
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Day 2
Disappointment
What I really wanted to buy yesterday was a baboon. My plan was to teach it to guard the shed from bad people. But then I thought a tur...
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Day 7
Turniptubbie
I thought that I might relate to the turnip more if it had a face and a leg. The face I have chosen is that of Tinky-Winky, a character f...
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Day 13
Awakening?
The surgery seemed to go well and I left the turnip recovering overnight. This morning, the lid had been removed from a container of soup (...
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Day 17
Education through film 1
Freud tells me that the turnip's problems stem from an underdeveloped superego. He suggested I try to broaden the turnip's ho...
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Day 32
Captain America: The Winter Vegetable
In an effort to make the turnip a bit more enthusiastic about life, I thought we would watch an action film. So...
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Day 43
NASA photograph the turnip's fruit fort
I had an email from NASA. Apparently, they have a satellite orbiting my kitchen and they captured some images...
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Day 44
Push Turnip - Wait for Signal
We went into town today. I visited the dentist, the doctor's and a wizard. The turnip wanted to look at the crossing. A...
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Day 45
The turnip is heavier than he appears
The turnip accompanied me to the gym. As you can see, he's heavier than he looks. No wonder my jacket pocket is...
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Day 50
Who's that behind the curtain?
Mr Rumdoodle is behind the curtain. He has been living there for about seven years. If anyone ventures too close, he pu...
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Day 51
Turnip finds social critique in ice-bubbles
It's very cold here at the moment, due to the temperature. We found a plant pot with bubbles in the ice. "...
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Day 6
Not very efficient
The response to yesterday's advert has been poor. In the meantime, I put the turnip to good use, stripping off old wallpaper in a h...
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Day 11
Xmas lunch
An Xmas lunch that's rather late Does turnip fear he's on the plate? My photo-friends, the answer's plain He has no thoughts of future pain...
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Day 14
Existential
The turnip is conscious. The first thing he said to me was, "Why are we born, if only to suffer?" Well, I wasn't having any of that nonsen...
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Day 15
This can't go on
I could forgive him stealing my soup and asking existential questions, but today the turnip ate one of my fajitas. He has gained anot...
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Day 20
Thank you, Krzysztof
The turnip said we should thank Krzysztof for "Three Colours Blue", but sadly he died in 1996. So instead, we are expressing our...
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Day 21
Education through film 3
I've decided to show the turnip just a few more films to complete his education. Today, we watched 'The Usual Suspects'. He s...
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Day 22
Heartbreak
The turnip wanted to know what heartbreak was. For a quick example, I took him into the garden, to the place where my three cats are buried...
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Day 24
Thank you, Bryan Singer
The turnip reminded me that we hadn't given thanks for Bryan Singer's film, 'The Usual Turnips', which we watched a few days a...
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Day 25
What animal would you be?
I asked the turnip what animal he would like to be. He said he'd like to be a magnificent stag. I tried to recreate what thi...
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Day 30
I consult Xiuhtecuhtli
I suspect that the turnip has been indulging in strange practices. I consulted the Aztec fire god, Xiuhtecuhtli. His spirit inh...
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Day 31
The first time the turnip saw snow
There was a light dusting of snow this morning. I took the turnip outside to see it. I thought he would be excited...
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Day 36
Testing the turnip's mood using the Chutney Proximity Test
Today, I tested to see if the therapy had been successful. I used a standard psychological...
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Day 35
Controversial therapy using the Corkscrew of Damocles
I feel the turnip is improving, but I asked Dr Scave (see Feb 11th) if there was one more treatm...
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