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#1 53/365
3 streak
#52
Day 52
Shine on you crazy turnip
He is in there. He's in the hanging basket, next to some plums. That lamp is in my garden, by the way, next to the pond. Tod...
#40
Day 40
Cosy evening, but in the day and in the road
The turnip said he would like to spend a nice cosy evening indoors, but to do this outside on a public ro...
#43
Day 43
NASA photograph the turnip's fruit fort
I had an email from NASA. Apparently, they have a satellite orbiting my kitchen and they captured some images...
#32
Day 32
Captain America: The Winter Vegetable
In an effort to make the turnip a bit more enthusiastic about life, I thought we would watch an action film. So...
#42
Day 42
"None shall pass!" says Freud
I found the turnip today, nestling next to some unripe bananas. As I approached, Professor Freud popped up. "None shall...
#44
Day 44
Push Turnip - Wait for Signal
We went into town today. I visited the dentist, the doctor's and a wizard. The turnip wanted to look at the crossing. A...
#38
Day 38
The turnip visits a gym
Now he has recovered his spirits, I took the turnip to the gym. He wanted to know what one does with dumbbells. "You pick them...
#31
Day 31
The first time the turnip saw snow
There was a light dusting of snow this morning. I took the turnip outside to see it. I thought he would be excited...
#39
Day 39
Somewhere in this turnip picture is a tree
The turnip and I went out for a walk. He wished to appear in a moody black and white picture of a tree. I s...
#26
Day 26
Turnip has a spot of lunch
Today, the turnip and I went into town to post our thank you letters and have a spot of lunch. We were served by an amusing...
#36
Day 36
Testing the turnip's mood using the Chutney Proximity Test
Today, I tested to see if the therapy had been successful. I used a standard psychological...
#37
Day 37
We give thanks for Captain America: The Winter Vegetable
The turnip seems happier. He reminded me that we have not given thanks for the Captain Americ...
#41
Day 41
My turnip disappears under mysterious circumstances
My turnip has gone missing. He was in the car following yesterday's photo and now he isn't. My onl...
#25
Day 25
What animal would you be?
I asked the turnip what animal he would like to be. He said he'd like to be a magnificent stag. I tried to recreate what thi...
#30
Day 30
I consult Xiuhtecuhtli
I suspect that the turnip has been indulging in strange practices. I consulted the Aztec fire god, Xiuhtecuhtli. His spirit inh...
#47
Day 47
Leaping from Planet Turnip
The turnip was back in space today. He told me that whilst orbiting the Sun, he felt a light impact on his head. He wasn't...
#51
Day 51
Turnip finds social critique in ice-bubbles
It's very cold here at the moment, due to the temperature. We found a plant pot with bubbles in the ice. "...
#35
Day 35
Controversial therapy using the Corkscrew of Damocles
I feel the turnip is improving, but I asked Dr Scave (see Feb 11th) if there was one more treatm...
#46
Day 46
Planet Turnip
After the turnip saw the NASA Kitchen Orbiter go overhead, he asked me what space was like. "How should I know?" I said. "Go and have a...
#33
Day 33
As night begins to fall, I seek help
There's no doubt that the turnip is in a state. He is indifferent to snow and to a film featuring Scarlett Johann...
#34
Day 34
The turnip and the Pond of Destiny
The advert in my car (Feb 9th) generated 804 responses, all from the same person: a market gardener called Fingal S...
#45
Day 45
The turnip is heavier than he appears
The turnip accompanied me to the gym. As you can see, he's heavier than he looks. No wonder my jacket pocket is...
#53
Day 53
The road is covered in cake icing
The turnip asked me why the road was covered in cake icing. I laughed and said, "Why, that's not cake icing, you sil...
#50
Day 50
Who's that behind the curtain?
Mr Rumdoodle is behind the curtain. He has been living there for about seven years. If anyone ventures too close, he pu...